Are you a guy secretly intimidated by making love to a virgin girl, not quite confident about how to have great sex with her?
That’s easy to understand; after all, you really must know what you're doing because handling a virgin woman in bed is different than making love the first time with a non-virgin.
You’ve probably heard that a virgin’s first lovemaking experience becomes a benchmark in the art of love making, right?
Well, it’s true.
Whether she merely wants to explore her sexuality with you or it’s your first night of marriage, her “first time” will remain a point of reference for the rest of her life.
Feeling the pressure yet?
Well, if you really like the girl you shouldn’t resent the responsibility of taking her virginity.
Because although it's an important milestone in any girl’s life, it’s not such a big deal as you’d imagine. (She will not expect you to marry her or anything like that).
This out of the way, let's get down to the six tips on making love to a virgin girl confidently, with great skill, so you won’t appear sexually inexperienced (or a dork):
Making love to a virgin is very special; you’re sort of her hero. She’s going to attach a lot of emotions to her first experience of sexual intimacy. She will remember making love the first time with you for the rest of her life. So if you want to be memorable (in a good way) and have a GREAT time together, read on.
Although a woman’s virginity seems outdated in a world of sexual promiscuity and when sex before marriage is standard practice, don't be too surprised to discover a virgin well after her teenage years. (According to the Kinsey Institute, only about 75% of American girls lose their virginity by the time they’re 18.)
Personally, I believe that when a girl gives up her virginity is a personal decision; it’s her own choice.
Some girls are simply fed up with their virginity and just want to get over it - and that's fine.
Others want to wait till marriage or a committed relationship, and that's fine.
And others want to wait till they're deeply in love - and that's fine too.
But for most girls, rather than being deeply in love with their first guy, they need to like and trust the man they're choosing to gift with their virginity. If that’s YOU, more than anything else you'll want to make your girl feel safe and comfortable with you (for example, she needs to know that whenever she says “stop”, you’ll actually STOP).
Her physical and emotional comfort is the reason you’ll want to plan well the special time of making love to a virgin – start by taking care of any privacy and distractions issues.
First, make sure you have the place for yourselves for at least a few good hours; because you don’t want to risk being caught having sex. A whole weekend is even better because this gives you unrushed time to create that special "to.get.her.ness" that relaxes and opens up your girl like nothing else, getting her ready for the more intimate moments that are to come.
Second, cut any distractions. Turn off your phones. Turn off the TV. Focus 100% on her so you can tune in and respond to the subtle non-verbal feedback she's going to give you.
Undoubtedly, a girl’s first-time lovemaking is all about HER. The gift of virginity that she’s sharing with you is very precious; make sure she knows that you value it - this will help her start to relax a little bit more (because even if she's eager to please you, she will be pretty tense the whole time).
Lovemaking is a an emotional experience for any woman; these emotions are magnified for a virgin – so make sure she feels emotionally safe with you.
To create a more intimate and comforting atmosphere when making love to a virgin, dim the lights and/or use candles as they give a soft, sensuous light. This will relax her big time - any virgin is incredibly self-conscious about her naked body (especially her boobs). The prospect of being naked in front of you in full light will very likely petrify her.
To ease her tension even further, spend plenty of time cuddling before getting undressed. Now it's a good time to talk about some of her fears (paralyzing fears, most likely unexpressed and possibly unconscious):
Don't pressure your sweetie into doing something she doesn’t feel comfortable doing; if at any time she becomes uncomfortable, STOP. Even if she initially was all for abandoning her virginity, if she has a change of heart - go with it; the more you allow her to be in control, the more she'll trust you. Before soon she'll be ready to have another go.
As you slowly undress her, take your time to explore her body with your hands.
Put her mind at rest - tell her how much you like her beautiful body. Tell her you love her breasts. Tell her she's sexy and exciting - this is something you should do when making love the first time with any woman, and especially with a virgin one.
Tease her lovingly and make her laugh - laughing relaxes her and dissolves any tension she might feel about making love the first time. Say something funny or have a silly pillow fight. Everybody knows how a valuable skill it is to be able to make women laugh. (As famous sex-symbol Marilyn Monroe said, "If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything".)
The general rule is to be gentle. Very gentle. Slow down. Stifle your instinct to go fast or rough. Virgins have a tendency to bail out when they get even a little scared, so avoid being insensitive or verbally aggressive. No, this is NOT the time for dirty talking.
When making love to a virgin remember that French kissing is a must.
Because French kissing is the most arousing type of kissing.
Done the right way, this open-mouth kiss triggers an explosion of neurotransmitters that skyrocket sexual passion tremendously - check these French kissing techniques.
Give her a sensual breast massage gently kneading her breasts, flicking and sucking her nipples – she’ll love this!
Don't touch the spot between her legs too soon - in fact, you want her begging for it; tell her you won't touch her there until she takes your hand and put it there when she's ready - this literally melts any anxiety she may still feel.
Give her LOTS of sexual foreplay – fingering is one of the best techniques. Start by caressing the outer lips of her virgin pussy, then make your way to the clit and rub it very softly. Alternate clitty rubbing with sliding gently inside her first a finger, then two. This gets her more comfortable with penetration, further easing her anxiety. Use proper lubrication for this step (see below) - you'll glide inside very smoothly and much more pleasurably.
A second sexual foreplay technique that will have her moan in ecstasy is eating her out (make sure she’s comfortable with oral sex, not all women are). Want to rock her world beyond her wildest expectations? Get some advanced training with this oral sex techniques tutorial.
Escalating her arousal like this lowers her sensitivity to any pain or discomfort she may feel when you finally enter her. Slide inside inch by inch while kissing and caressing her to fully open her up. As you move in and out, thrust slow and steady, shallow rather than deep to avoid causing lacerations and chafing.
Secret tip on how to have great sex (and the best cure for premature ejaculation) when making love to a virgin: as it’s very likely that you’ll get extremely stimulated by her tight virgin pussy, consider masturbating (at least a couple of hours) before your lovemaking session. This allows you to avoid ejaculating and losing your erection too quickly so you can last comfortably as long as you need to.
During her first sexual
penetration any girl will undoubtedly feel a certain amount of pain; at the
very least she’ll feel some discomfort. And, depending on her unique
genital anatomy and the positioning of her hymen she may bleed or she may not - not all girls do.
But the pain or discomfort can be easily diminished with proper lubrication and using good sex positions for first-time lovemaking, which give optimal body balance and minimize any painful friction.
Good Lubrication: using a high-quality personal lubricant is crucial; skip the cheap, heavily scented soapy-tasting ones like the sort found at the dollar store or sex shop. Because getting a genital rash or a yeast infection due to a low-quality lube is going to be a sexual boo-boo of epic proportions for a virgin girl.
When it comes to good lube you really must be choosy. Look for a non-allergenic one like Nooky Lube or SmoovLube. Both of these are not only silky-smooth, slide-safe, completely odorless, tasteless and easy to clean, but also free of any irritating chemicals like petroleum, glycerin or parabens.
Since she’ll be quite dry due to the inherent anxiety, make certain that she's well-lubricated before entering her. So make sure she’s very wet. Wet, not damp - but not dripping either because too much lube will diminish the stimulation.
If she isn't lubricated enough (or tensed, or rushed), her vagina will not stretch comfortably causing more pain and even tearing.
Avoid cheaper lubricants like KY Jelly (as they get tacky pretty quickly) and avoid using your saliva (it's too watery and totally ineffective) or massage oil (it's too greasy). As you put on a condom just before intercourse (which you absolutely should), be sure to use a water-based lubricant (which both Nooky Lube and SmoovLube mentioned above are), to avoid the risk of condom breakage.
Good Sex Positions: No matter what you’ve read elsewhere about women enjoying rough sex, making love to a virgin is NEVER a good time to go hardcore or experiment with the more exotic of the love making positions.
Regardless of the position you use and how sensual your lovemaking may be, just keep in mind that a virgin woman won't probably experience a jaw-dropping, toe-curling orgasm when she makes love the first time.
But that’s nothing to worry about.
For a girl, first-time sex is not about the intensity of her orgasm; it’s not about red-hot, very passionate love making.
Rather, it is about feeling safe with you and having an emotionally-fulfilling experience – that’s actually a big part of what women want in bed.
To enhance her experience, take some extra time and enjoy some tender afterplay. Hug her lovingly and hold her close, stroke and kiss her tenderly, let her know how much you enjoyed her body and making love with her.
First-time sex is a high-stress experience for any girl - she's going to need your tender guidance and loving encouragement. She needs to feel that she's making love with an experienced guy who can teach her the art of love making; don't disappoint her.
Teach her how to relax into the new sensations. Show her how to have great sex by giving her feedback when you like something she does. Avoid overreacting, teasing or criticizing if her touching is not as great as you’d hope – after all, she's never felt a man’s body before, so she may not be aware of what you like or dislike.
Instead, guide her hand to your pleasure spots showing her what you like. Talk softly to her telling her what you want her to do to you and how you want her to do it. She'll be oh-so-turned-on when you give her directions! (Plus, you'll later enjoy lovemaking customized to your preferences.)
When you are with a virgin girl don’t rush her, don’t fumble and don’t act hesitantly or nervous yourself; any of these will freak her out. Do you remember Tony Robbins talking about “acting as if”? You must act confident, even if you don’t feel it.
Keep in mind that your sweetheart is sexually inexperienced; don’t count on getting the most amazing blowjob or on a very passionate love making this first time. As she's exploring the new sensations it is normal for her to be a little passive. Don't let this turn you off because it doesn’t mean at all that she isn't enjoying sex with you; this thought will only make you hesitant, which actually spoils the whole experience for the both of you.
Even if you’ve told her about your previous limited sexual experience, she most likely feels that you must know more than her. Reassure her that you know what you're doing - soon, she will be writhing in pleasure under your touch. This gives you a greater sense of confidence about being able to give her a pleasurable experience making love the first time.
Remember that making love to a virgin is not something that happens to you everyday; you'll want to be prepared for this art of love making with these simple but extremely powerful skills - this way you'll be able to give your girl the unforgettable experience she deserves (and expects of you).
Want some mind-blowing advanced training on how to have great sex, how to give multiple orgasms to your woman, skyrocket your sex life and drive her crazy in bed each and every time?