If you are like most couples, you have assumed right from the very beginning basic relationship principles like honesty, trust, respect, reliability, and emotional intimacy. They are crucial if your relationship is to last.
But as your relationship evolves, you need advanced relationship principles.
When after attracting your soulmate the thrill wears off, with all the stresses of everyday life and the old baggage of hurts and disappointments that are often brought in a new relationship, you might think that - since you no longer feel butterflies in your stomach - your relationship is doomed.
You should know that all relationships go through an evolutive process - with no exceptions. There is a specific sequence of relationship stages.
These naturally change over time and require that you and your partner grow and evolve as individuals. Yes, it may go against what you've been hearing, but if you want to solve your relationship puzzle, you'd better get this. Besides continual personal development, applying advanced relating skills is critical.
After the usual fascination of the infatuation stage is gone, there is no magic pill that restores the romantic love. You and your partner must use advanced relationship principles that will support you during the relationship problems you, like all other couples, will inevitably experience sooner or later.
Experiment with them and test their power. Believe it or not, if your relationship is to survive beyond the power struggle stage, these relationship principles are invaluable.
This is the most important of all relationship principles: a conscious relationship is the crucible for mutually healing the damage done in childhood as a result of unmet emotional needs. You may be surprised to discover that you unconsciously select a specific partner, who has the ideal potential to give you what your caretakers failed to provide.
A partner who can help you heal, evolve, and feel whole again.
You evolve by choosing to stretch out of your comfort zone and change to satisfy your partner's needs - rather than feeling judged, criticized, or inadequate.
Her needs are precisely where you must stretch and change in order to grow. Without change, there is no growth or evolution.
In choosing to change to give your partner what she needs (even if it's difficult at first), you overcome your own limitations and heal yourself in the process. As a result, she becomes healed as well and able to change herself to meet your needs too.
Every effort you make will ultimately benefit both of you.
Of course, you should change within your personal values; for every problem there is more than one solution - find the one that keeps you in integrity.
Cutting-edge psychology research has proved that our partner is merely a mirror for the parts of ourselves that we've repressed during our childhood conditioning.
But let's talk about you.
Look inside of you for what is alike with what's bothering you in your partner's behavior. Once you own and take responsibility for your repressed parts, her annoying behavior will stop, or it will stop bothering you.
I know, it sounds almost insane. But try it anyway.
This is the hardest to swallow from all the relationship principles: taming your ego. The ego is a limited belief system within your mind installed at a time when you were too young to protect yourself from the outside world. Now it often deceives you as being 'the real you' and instructing you on what you are or are not, how you should act or not act.
Your fearful, limiting ego does what it was setup to do when you were five: it only wants to protect you from (now imagined) enemies.
The more you defend your ego, the more you reinforce your self-imposed limitations. The more you do that, the more your comfort zone contracts. The more your comfort zone contracts, the more you lose your power.
The ego manifests as sarcasm, judgment, jealousy, possessiveness, dismissing your partner's point of view or her feelings. It manifests as a constant defensiveness and need to be in the right. Hence trust, love, respect, compassion and deep connection are stifled.
What you may not realize is that an active ego is a sign of emotional immaturity, low self-esteem and insecurity. Only when you learn to transcend your ego, you can restore the flow of love in your relationship. Quite frankly, what you'll eventually find out is that serving you ego will invariably damage all your relationships.
It's true, you cannot directly change your partner, but you can transform your relationship by changing the way you show up in it.
By developing your emotional intelligence (self-awareness, personal responsibility, assertiveness, empathic listening, negotiation, acceptance, forgiveness), you have the power to transform the whole dynamic of your relationship.
Just think. Each transformed moment connects to the next one and then to the next, so by simply changing how you are handling each individual moment (what you say and what you do), you can impact the whole relationship.
This is the most significant of all relationship principles: you can only change yourself, but doing so influences your partner.
Here's what to expect: changing the way you relate to her will trigger a different response from her. In this way, rather than being a victim of your relationship, you have total power to transform it. Exercising your choices makes you powerful.
These are practical solutions that work.
Applying - rather than just knowing about these advanced relationship principles - you will deepen your connection and take the two of you to a new level of love and intimacy that you've never imagined!
And if your partnership is in trouble, by mastering these skills you grow and evolve in all areas of your life - regardless of whether you choose to continue or get out of your relationship.
After all, the self-mastery that you've achieved is invaluable in any situation and all your interactions - at home and at work.
Take a minute now to subscribe to Puzzle Bits, the most revealing, FREE relationship E-zine for men--AND claim your FREE Kama Sutra Ebook that comes as a "Thank You!" gift for taking the time to fill in the form below: